Last night Gman was at a Lunar New Year dinner at his friend’s house, so it was just Lolo and I. Alone time with each child is my favorite thing. There’s no bickering or fighting, just actual conversation, especially when we’re driving. I don’t know what it is about being in the van, but it really gets the dialogue rolling.
On the way home from Lolo’s piano lesson, I stopped into a gas station convenience store to grab some gum for her. Sometimes I spoil my kids like this when I have one of them alone. Gum is a very valuable and highly coveted currency for middle schoolers, so I bought her two packs. While checking out at the register, the 20-something cashier looked at me, hesitated a second, and then said,
“Are you by chance a teacher?”
(That was odd and out of the blue). I told her I used to homeschool, but no, I wasn’t a teacher. She didn’t say anything else. I couldn’t just let it sit there, so I asked her,
“Do I look like a teacher? What made you ask that?”
“Well,” she said, “you just give off this really caring and kind vibe, like a really good teacher.”
I almost cried right there on the spot! Could there have been a nicer thing she could have said to me?! It was SUCH a beautiful thing for her to say!! I couldn’t contain my smile. I thanked her for saying such a nice thing to me and then left with Lolo’s gum.
I carried the cashier’s words with me last night, and still today. She’ll probably never know how her kindness impacted me this week.
You see, I’ve been really struggling. I’ve doubted my career choices. I’ve been depressed about the lack of “success” I’ve had pursuing the things I used to feel absolutely certain about. Did I misinterpret what I thought God wanted me to do? Is that season over now? If it is, what in the world am I supposed to do next? What is my life?! AGH! Who even am I now?!
But with one sweet compliment, my courage was restored. Success isn’t measured by a certain number of followers or comments received. It isn’t a certain number of boxes sold or speaking engagements booked! What’s more important is a stranger saying you give off a “really caring and kind vibe, like a really good teacher.”
Of course that doesn’t exactly pay the bills, so the search for the “new me,” my new life path, etc. continues. It’s still so frightening to not be able to see ahead. It’s scary to not know what I’m supposed to be or do next with my life, but caring and kind is for sure something I want to be!
I can’t tell you how one compliment at a gas station reignited the courage to keep going. That cashier will likely never know the profound affect her words had on me last night. She won’t know that earlier that day I was so overwhelmed with what to do with m life that I just crawled back in bed, cried a little and then slept. She won’t know that her words motivated me to open up this laptop and start writing again, start planning again, and to start believing in God’s plan again!
Do we realize the power of our words? Do we look for opportunities to compliment one another? To say kind things when silence would be easier and less awkward? Let’s be like that cashier. Let’s ignore the awkwardness of it all and speak kindness to strangers. Let’s offer compliments to the people we encounter. It could encourage someone feeling hopeless, or it could make someone smile and turn his or her week around, as it did for me.
Life is hard. Figuring out what’s next is beyond difficult. Grief stinks. Uncertainty can be so scary, paralyzing and lonely. Kind words won’t make any of that go away, but it certainly helps!
I want to challenge all of us to look for opportunities to say beautifully kind things to the people we encounter this week. Take the risk of sounding weird. Loving one another is so worth it.
Extra grace,
Jodi
Thank you for this post. The grief process and finding my new self, new life has been daunting and sad for me. Just reading your words takes so much of the feeling of isolation away for me. Thank you so much. Much love to you.
I’m so sorry you have been depressed and anxious about your future. I am going to pray for you, honestly.
You’re posts always, always give me hope, make me feel less lonely and understood. You are so positive and cheerful in your videos, I think because you are further along in this journey with grief, young, and still raising children, I sometimes feel you do “have it all figured out.” How thoughtless of me, grief is grief and it’s just dang hard. All the hopes, dreams and plans for your future, which seemed so safe and sure, flew out the window when you lost your dear husband, just like mine did nearly two years ago. Gaining my footing and confidence seems like an impossibility. You are so brave to have stepped out and tried new things and innovative ways to move forward. I pray the Lord will give you strength for each day and some glimpse of His will for your life. I pray it will be to continue in this path, because you have personally been responsible for helping me through some awful, dark days. I feel like I know you and I appreciate and love your sweet heart.
Consider yourself hugged. I wish I could do it in person.
Thank you for your post today. I know how difficult it is some days. It’s been a little more than 2 years since I lost my husband. Most days I do okay but some days are more difficult. I know I am supposed to be reaching out to involve myself in new things as I continue my quest for the new me. Recently I joined a friend’s book club. We haven’t met yet but I had to call my sister to talk me through the trepidation I was feeling. Sending hugs to you and wishing renewed hope and strength for you.
Jodi, what a random event! And such a blessing for you at just the right time! God is amazing.! Thank you for sharing and being real with us. And, the cashier is SO right! I pray that your caring, kind vibe will bless your income as much as it blesses and supports and guides us on our journey of becoming whatever it is this grief and loss molds into us.
This is beautiful. I continue to grapple with the conflict btwn having a new appreciation for love, joy and empathy….and having gotten here out of grief and loss. But I don’t want to go back to the old me and get callus and complacent again. I want passages like yours to continue to conjure up those places in my heart and soul that feel things with so much more intensity.
I am sad and sorry to hear your feelings about yourself and your future. Oh of course I do understand. Please don’t doubt what you have started here. You were the light in the darkness for me. I just randomly found you as you blogged away about your grief and what you were doing. Many things you have said really speak to me in such a positive way. You are able to put into words what I sometimes find hard to articulate! And look at what you have got here… such a following of needy widows. My community has hardly anything for grieving individuals. We all know how lonely it is.. I don’t need to even go there with hose endles descriptions. Be patient and live in your moment. You are a great mom with children who need you. That s where you are now. That is your purpose. And we love that you take all of us along with you! The rest will come on time.
I know at first I felt in a hurry to get going with my life so I could get lthere” sooner. Get where? IDK. Maybe to the end of life so I could go be with my love… or to what ever it was I was supposed to be doing next.. I had always know who I was and what I was about and what I was supposed to be doing.. and then my Larry died after a long illness. And zincame up short, wondering how to even move thro the next hour, mich less the entire day.. or my life! Doubt your doubts! You are loved and cherished and needed and appreciated by so many of us out here in the FB world. Keep on keeping on. You are doing better than you know. Many of us keep you and yours in our prayers. ❤️It is a very hard thing to find our lives again.. because they are different,
I love how random events sometimes really aren’t that random 🙂 I too question my place in this world and just when I think I have it figured out it all changes again! Ugh. Grief DOES stink. And it sometimes lies. Tricks us into not believing in ourselves the way we should. I’ve been there too many times to count. So, yes. I will take your advice to practice kindness this week. Great idea! I’m on it!
I do not have faith in God. That went some 40 years ago when my father died. I do however have faith in you. Your coursge and humanity are keeping me going through the dark days of widowhood.. i thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you keep writing your comments. If I believed in God I would say God Bless You. In fact in case I am wrong I will say May the Creator of the Universe bless you.
You are a blessing to so many of us walking this path of widowhood. I always look forward to reading your posts; you put words to my feelings.
Please know that all of us who are on this widow walk with you appreciate you and your wise words of honesty, love, and encouragement. Keep trusting in the Lord’s leading and don’t believe the lies Satan tries to feed you…Remember, he will do all he can (which is “only” deceive!) to derail you from the path God is leading you down. I truly appreciate your blog, the FB group, your boxes, and all the honesty you share as you walk out this life of grief. It is truly a blessing to know that I am not alone in how I feel. You ARE a HUGE blessing to so many Jodi. You touch MANY lives that you may never even know about. God IS using you! Keep on keeping on!! {{HUGS}} to you my friend (may I call you that?).
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
Corrie ten Boom