Life Update

It’s time for an update. It’s been so long, I honestly don’t know where to begin. I think I’ll bullet point the last five months just to get everyone up to speed. Despite the monotony and boredom of being at home ALL THE TIME, it’s been a blur.

• The Extra Grace Box. After much thought, prayer and many a pros vs cons lists, I have decided to end The Extra Grace Box. Anyone who has purchased a “Year of Grace” will still receive the remaining boxes. I just won’t be moving forward with this business. I have felt saddened by this, as it has brought me so much joy being a part of people loving one another through difficult times. I wanted it to work, I wanted it to be part of my future, but it just wasn’t working. Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to run a business (probable), maybe it’s because I couldn’t/wouldn’t invest more money into making it better, or maybe it was just an important season in my own healing and that season is over. Whatever it was, I am grateful it happened. I’m trying not to feel like a failure, and trying not to worry about going back to square one with ideas for my future. Instead I’m working on appreciating what it was for me and what it hopefully was for others. Some things are just for a season and that is OK. On to the next big idea I guess.

• Kids/School. I have been with my children (the two younger ones) 24/7 since Mid-March. I am thankful we have been able to be safe at home, but LORD HAVE MERCY!!! This is a lot of togetherness, mixed with mild depression for all. One is a teen and the other one is almost there as well. They are cave dwellers who only surface for food. Lots and lots of food. These people eat like no other age group! Holy moly, someone should have warned me! Because of their recluse-like habits, I have enacted forced family togetherness. Every Friday night we have pizza and movie night. Like it or not.

Our school district has given us a choice of reduced schedule in-person classes where high schoolers go Mondays and Wednesdays and work from home T, Th & Fri. Middle Schoolers go every day. OR we could choose a Virtual Academy option. We discussed this as a family and came to a consensus that Virtual Academy was best for our family. We are thankful we have the privilege of being able to choose. Our district is having an emergency board meeting later today. It is my hunch everyone will be beginning the year virtually now, but we shall see. 

The kids miss routine. They miss their friends. They miss “normal.” We all do. But, there’s no spare parent here. We’d rather be extra cautious.

• Summer Fun. In late February, VERY early March, I made a HUGE decision. (Thank you for my Aunt Pam for nudging me a little). I decided to buy a swimming pool! Little did I know at the time, but had I waited even a week longer to order, it wouldn’t have been available this summer. I’m so thankful I decided when I did! This has been a lifelong dream of mine. I grew up as a competitive swimmer and have always longed to have a pool of my own. And now I have one! This has been our saving grace during social distancing. It’s been so good to beat boredom, reduce stress and anxiety and it’s been fun! I’m so thankful I did this! So far, zero regrets. YOLO! Mark would’ve NEVER gone for this when he were here, but strangely I also feel like he would be supportive of me making big decisions on my own. This purchase was significant not just in price, but in my forward movement as a widow. Although my husband is part of who I am and is ALWAYS in my heart and in my mind, this decision was mine alone. I wasn’t overcome with self doubt (well, not much anyway), and I wasn’t stuck in what would he have done mode. Instead, I focused on the reality of this being my life and my decision. And I went for it. I’m proud of myself for that.

• Job. This is a little misleading, because I’m not working at this time. Not for money anyway. I AM volunteering many hours for a local political candidate. It helps me feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to see the change I want in the world. I’ve really enjoyed dusting off some of my skills and connecting (virtually) with people in my community. 

• Church. We had JUST found a church we were going to visit regularly when the pandemic hit. Services were moved online. There continues to be no in-person church for us, but we have been thankful for the ability to worship online with a variety of churches. It’ll be so good to be back worshiping safely one day. Until then, we know God is with us wherever we are and we can praise him anytime, anywhere. 

• The Widow Army. This private, Facebook group continues to grow. We are almost to the point of being able to state-specific Widow Army groups, which was my vision! This is an amazing group of widows and widowers supporting one another through encouraging words, humor, understanding and caring comments. I’m so grateful for this community. Soon I will be looking for a second and third admin for this group. Should something happen to me, I want this group to live on. The role is voluntary and the job is mainly to screen requests to join the group. I won’t even tell you how many people I have to block each week. If this is something you’re interested in, please send me a private message. As state groups are formed, I will need admins for those groups as well. Preferrably someone who has been with The Widow Army for awhile and understand the dynamic and mission of the group.

• What’s next. Yeah, no idea per usual. I’m trying to just BE. Live in the moment without fear of the future. I’m trying to enjoy the day without worry of what’s next. Today has enough trouble of it’s own. 

Pretty boring, I know. But how exciting can life be when you’re at home all the time? The puzzle phase is over. The bread-baking phase, also finished. I’m tired of TV, never did take the time to organize or clean anything, and frankly, we’re just muddling through, praying for an end to the virus. The pool is pretty much all we do. I wish I had something more exciting to report. Sometimes, life is just mundane. I don’t mind it that way, actually. The slower pace is good for us. We haven’t gotten used to it yet, but I know it’s a good thing. Constant hustle and overscheduling was over-rated. I’m enjoying the birds, the sunflowers Gman and I planted, and the garden harvest. Old-timey life and it isn’t bad.

How are you holding up during this time? What phase of this are you currently in? Have you stayed healthy? I’d love to hear from you! 

Until something more exciting happens…Extra grace.

Jodi