This is the week we were supposed to travel to Chicago to celebrate B. She was supposed to walk across a stage in her puffy JD regalia to receive her doctoral degree in law. I was supposed to be embarrassing and bawl and cheer when they called her name. We were supposed to gather as a family at a restaurant following the ceremony to celebrate her amazing accomplishment. I would’ve raised a glass and given a sappy Mom toast.
As people who have experienced great loss, we are familiar with the disappointing, devastating even, detours this life forces on us. We do what we have to do to. We move on. We fight to find new ways to be joyful. We roll with the punches, because not doing so takes away from the beauty. And yet, it feels terrible. It’s easy to want to cry about it, yell out in selfishness – why can’t anything ever just go right?!
I know that isn’t the right attitude though. Instead, I’m working on gratitude. Oh, I’m so thankful we are all healthy and safe! I’m happy B not only reached law school, which was her dream, but she completed it! She has an astounding future ahead of her and I am so grateful to be her Mom! I’m beyond proud of her tenacity, her resiliency, her incredible mind and beautiful heart. I’m thankful she has found employment and am so excited for whatever she wants to conquer next, because she will.
I’ve gotten many “congratulations, Mom” wishes, which are nice but not warranted. This isn’t my accomplishment, it’s hers. She was born determined, I just kept her alive. I remember when she was in preschool – a time when I didn’t necessarily appreciate this child of mine full of her own ideas and stubborn persistence. A friend once told me these would be qualities I’d one day celebrate. Oh, she was so right! Look at her now! She’s a compassionate leader, an advocate for clients and a fiercely intelligent woman with a never-give-up attitude. I am so thankful I get to be her Mom.
Although I’d give anything to wrap my arms around her this week, to spoil her with praise, love and celebratory gifts, I’ll adjust my sails as she and so many of us are having to do. There will come a time when we can be together again. That day WILL come, and it will be all the sweeter because of the wait we have endured.
The same will be true of heaven, where one of the proudest Dads EVER is right now. Oh, her Dad would be even more ridiculous than me over his daughter’s accomplishments. I wish he were here. “Looking down on her”, “in our hearts”, “in our minds” – whatever….I just wish he was here for this.
In the especially difficult times, in the extra joyful times and even in the mundane and ordinary moments, we wish he were here.
Whatever you are missing during this season of distancing, I pray you can find your way through it and that the delayed reward exceeds the pain of the wait. Life is still worth celebrating. Every day. Accomplishments and special moments are still joyful, despite the disappointments and sorrow we sometimes carry with it.
Let’s look for ways to rejoice and moments to applaud a little more this week. Let’s make the accolades and celebrations louder than any disappointments. Life, although never as WE plan it to be, is still beautiful. It’s still breathtaking and full of awe, love and even laughter. My prayer this week for myself, for you, and for my Daughter, J.D. is this:
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Extra grace,
Jodi
Bursting with pride doesn’t come close. What an accomplishment to watch. I like that you saw characteristics back in preschool that have served her well and will continue to influence her future. Hope through you I get to follow the trajectory of this woman’s life. #inspirationalonsomanylevels
Congratulations to both you and your daughter! Both of you put effort in making this happen. I can relate to the disappointment of having to wait to celebrate this great accomplishment. My family is also having to wait to celebrate my grandson’s graduation from college and attainment of a teaching degree. Right now it seems so uneventful and yet it is a wonderful accomplishment. He is the first of our family to complete college without taking a detour through life. I know my late husband would be so very proud as I am. We all feel a little bit bittersweet since he isn’t here to celebrate with us. But overall, life is good and we are grateful for each blessing.
Jodi what a beautiful daughter you have. I too would love to have my husband to walk with me thru this craziness in the world right now. Will be anxious to hear about her future endeavors. So sorry that you weren’t able to be with her and I have friends who have a simular situation with their daughter graduating from 8 years of college.That would truly be hard.. Hang in there.
Congratulations to B. What she has accomplished takes a lot of hard work and determination. I have 5 adult children, they graduated college but even better, they are kind and good adults. I agree that they did it, not me. However, like you, I “raised them up the way they should be”. We helped with homework for education, give them vitamins and took them to doctors for their health, taught them thank you and please. I even made them send thank you cards (yeah, I’m old) so they would always be socially kind. You do deserve a ‘job well done mom,” because you brought your amazing daughter up loving our Lord and Savior . With God, you opened her heart and soul to a life filled with prayer, love, obedience, compassion. and guidance through faith. Oh, the things our kids can do with God. Job well done mom. Sorry so long, you can edit.
I so agree with all these comments. Congratulations to both of you. This too shall pass.
Beautifully said Jodi! So sorry that you couldn’t celebrate personally with Bailey, that has to be super disappointing.
She has reached a very important goal and dream. I am so happy for her. One day you will be able to give her that huge congratulatory HUG! It will be so worth it! Take care, I think of you all so often. Wishing you a wonderful “Mother’s Day” weekend whatever you and the family will be able to do.
Karen and Lynn
What a beautiful tribute letter to your amazing daughter! She knows how much you love and admire all she has accomplished. Very soon you all will be able to celebrate together. For now, she has your beautiful letter I’m sure she will treasure! Hopefully all these hard times will help all of us become stronger and more resilient. That’s what grief is supposed to do too. Although this is all so hard, wish we all had our guys here with us! God Bless You Jodi. Thank you for continuing to write your beautiful letters to us all!