Make It Count!

Tragedy has struck again. This time, capturing the attention of the world. Kobe Bryant may be the fame behind this latest heart-wrenching story, but we know this shock, devastation, and grief – it happens to families every day.

I saw this post from Jen Hatmaker last night:

She’s certainly not wrong, and her sentiment is relatable, sincere and compassionate. However what struck me is the “my mind keeps trying to imagine” part. I realized there are two camps of shaken condolence givers here. 

1. The I can’t imagine crowd, and 

2. The I don’t have to imagine, because I remember people.

Odds are good our loved ones didn’t die in a helicopter crash, although it’s possible. It’s likely they weren’t world-famous and it’s probable we didn’t lose multiple family members at one time, although I know that’s true for some of you. What makes this latest hearatbreak extra impactful is where it takes our minds and our hearts. Any healing we’ve done since our loved one passed, it gets shoved aside while our own visceral experiences and the emotions that went with them are excavated. 

And it isn’t just Kobe Bryant’s family we think about, it’s ALL of the families involved. There were nine people who lost their life in this crash. NINE. Five families don’t know up from down today. They have to be reminded to breathe and to eat. We remember how that felt. We know what the days, months and years ahead might look like and that is triggering. 

I’ve been so sad since hearing the news reports. Sad for the husbands and wives left behind. Sad for the children now forced to grow up without their parent(s). And sad for us. We don’t have to try to imagine, because we remember. We wish we were one of those who could write or say how the sadness is unthinkable. For us? Oh, it’s thinkable. In fact, for me, this news has dug up the memories of our first day of grief, and pushed play on loop on it. Trauma rekindles trauma. (Just me?)

There are several things we can do about this. First and foremost, we have to take care of ourselves when there is news like this. There is an emotional vulnerability when new loss happens; no matter how much work we’ve done since our lives changed forever. If we have to turn off the news, back away from social media, or disengage from the national conversation, that is OK. 

Next, we can pray for these families. I mean this in so much more than a “thoughts & prayers” generalization that we hear so often. Instead I mean it in a sincere, on our knees, crying out to THE Comforter kind of way. We lift the Bryant family, the Altobelli family, the Chester family, the Mauser family, and the Zobayan family in prayer, as well as the countless unnamed families throughout the world that face what feels like unbearable grief today too. 

Finally, I know we already know the hold our families closer today mantra, but I want to add to it: Take the vacation, forget the laundry and sit down for a cup of coffee to reconnect with someone, order the dessert, change careers or whatever it is you’ve been afraid to do – just do it! This life is but a vapor. For what purpose are we living it? Live it for God. Seek joy. Be the light. Love one another. Speak kindness. Serve others. Be an encouragement to those who need it. Right any wrongs. Speak the words of love or forgiveness that need to be spoken.

James 4:14  (NIV)

¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Let this latest, heart-breaking news rekindle in all of us a clearer understanding of what truly matters. Seek first the Kingdom of God, and store your treasures in Heaven because this is not our forever home, friends. We are here for just a little while. Let’s make it count.

Extra grace,

Jodi