Last week the kids had a Fall Break from school. We traveled to Chicago to visit my oldest daughter, her boyfriend, my sister and her family, my two grandpas, my Dad and an uncle. It was just the mini vacation we needed. I haven’t hugged my first born in MONTHS and that is unacceptable! I am still not used to having an adult child. I know she’s supposed to grow up, live independently and do her own thing, but so far away? I hate it.
While in Chicago, we walked along Lake Michigan, ate at amazing restaurants, perused fun shops and walked approximately 100 miles. (Not really, but we walked A LOT!).
On one of our many walks, we passed a man (homeless I think?) selling newspapers on the sidewalk. I watched as dozens of people walked by without giving him a glance or a word. Big city people will often tell you – don’t make eye contact and keep on walking. But I’ve never been one to follow advice.
I didn’t buy what he was selling, but I looked at him and said “No, thank you” as I passed by.
He called after me. “Thank you for acknowledging me!” he said.
That hit my heart so hard!
“Of course!” I told him. “Have a great day!”
“You have a blessed day, too!” he said.
This exchange cost me zero dollars. We had a five second interaction that left a giant imprint on my heart. We SAW one another.
I started to think about how we all require acknowledgement. We need to be seen! It’s humanity 101, really. Is there anything lonelier than feeling as if no one sees you? No one cares or understands?
That’s how grief feels sometimes. Can anyone see me? Can you see my broken heart? Do you understand the pain behind the smile or the fake “I’m doing fine?” Do you want to look into my eyes and know there’s still sadness there, or is it easier to keep on walking?
I was reminded how simple it is to be kind. People don’t need to counsel us, or occupy our time every day. They just need to SEE us. I’m sure the plight of the grieving is not the same as the struggles of a homeless man on the streets of Chicago, but at the core of it all, are we that different? No matter where you live or what hardships you’ve endured, we are all more same than different.
We are all human. Children of God.
We all have hearts that can be broken, feelings that can be hurt, egos that can be bruised, hopes that can be dashed, good health that can be stolen and good fortune that can be lost. We all have fears and insecurities. We all want and need to be acknowledged.
Many people have and will let us down. They will rush by us on the way to wherever it is they’re going without so much as a glance in our direction. They won’t remember that we aren’t ok sometimes. We make them uncomfortable. They will not see us.
For all of you suffering, whether it’s silently behind the veil of a smile or out loud, I want you to know God sees you! When it feels as if you’re invisible and don’t matter, He sees you! Not only does He see you, He loves you!
I see you, too. I see you doing your best each day, putting one foot in front of the other even though it’s sometimes so very hard to even want to do that. I see your bravery through heartache. I marvel at how much honesty lives inside each teardrop. You are worthy of comfort; deserve compassion and merit kindness. You are not invisible.
Sometimes when I feel unseen, or when life overwhelms me, or sorrow feels too heavy to bear, I just write down all the names for God. It’s like worship and prayer without the focus required to turn my feelings into something coherent for God. He doesn’t require a coherent prayer anyway. He just wants our attention and heart.
Whenever you’re feeling unseen, overwhelmed, unimportant, forgotten, aching with sorrow – try it! It’s also a great exercise when you’re feeling grateful, happy and blessed. Just get a piece of paper and a pen and start writing down names for God.
My Refuge and Strength, Comforter, Healer, Mighty One, Deliverer, Prince of Peace, Savior, Father, Salvation, I AM, Love Everlasting, My Song, Redeemer, Lamb of God, Friend, Emmanuel (God with us), etc. See how many you can come up with and which names bring you the most peace as you write them. Whenever you feel alone and invisible to others, pull out that list or rewrite it.
You are seen. You are loved and adored. You matter. And you are not alone.
My friend, Steve, has created People, Beautiful People, an initiative to humanize the homeless. His photography is dedicated to seeing the people many overlook. Give him a follow on Instagram AND on Facebook and SEE the people he spotlights each day.
Extra grace,
Jodi
Jodi what a sweet post this was. today. I usually am a person who says hello or smiles to most people but I immediately thought of the people who I see with handwritten signs asking for help and how I cannot make eye contact with them. Yes, I see them, but I’m unsure if they know I saw them. I can only guess that the reason for this is that I feel so terrible for their circumstances. They are not out of my mind as soon as they are out of view. I find myself thinking about them for awhile and also later on, too.
I was a little unclear about something you said today…… “Sometimes when I feel unseen, or when life overwhelms me, or sorrow feels too heavy to bear, I just write down all the names for God.” . You also said “It’s also a great exercise when you’re feeling grateful, happy and blessed.”. I can be really thick sometimes and not understand, and I really wanted to understand what you meant. Who are the names that we are writing down? The people who let us down, and then the people who have been good to us? I would appreciate you elaborating on this. Thank you!
I did like the People, Beautiful People page on facebook. Thanks for sharing that. It reminds me of a page I started following on facebook many years ago called Humans of New York. There was a book published about it, too.
I hope you are still going to your grief group and feel like you are making progress. I took a Grief Share course 3 times (I’m not sure if that’s the same group you are going to or not). Once you pay for it the first time you can take it again as many times as you need to for free. It’s hard to hear and absorb everything the first time.
❤️
I mean just write down different names or adjectives for God/Jesus. Like Emmanuel, Comforter, Healer, SovereignsOne, Almighty, etc
Beautiful story about the interaction with the homeless man, Jodi. Thank you for sharing. So happy you had a good weekend. Prayers for you and your family as you continue your transition down south.