A Day In The Life of Extra Grace Required

I feel like I’ve been a downer lately, and although being honest is part of what I’ve promised you, encouragement and hope is what I really strive to bring you. I feel bad that I’ve been in a little bit of an encouragement and hope slump. Who wants to hang out with that, am I right?

So today, I’m just going to give you a mostly non-grief related random snapshot of what’s happening in our lives lately because some days I just don’t want to think about grief, write about grief, or DEAL with grief. Some days I just need to pretend it isn’t there. Today is one of those days.

Are you ready for a look into a day in the life of Jodi and Extra Grace Required?

Today like every school day, my alarm goes off at 6:12 a.m. – just enough time to rub my eyes, brush my teeth, find my slippers, make coffee and head out the door by 6:30. It’s not enough time to brew a whole pot of coffee, so I always interrupt the brew cycle once there’s enough for two cups. One is for a to-go mug and one is for my regular mug, both which I take with me in the van. That first part of the brew is STRONG! And I need it.

I am still in pajamas when I’m driving Lolo to school and I absolutely do not care. However, I do sometimes think about how embarrassing it would be if I were in a fender bender or something. But still, I’m not waking up before 6:12. I’m just not doing it.

Lolo has a rehearsal of some sort (jazz band or show choir or something else) every day before school, so no school bus for her. (BUMMER!!). After I drop her off before sunrise, I race back home to let the dogs out, feed them, and let them back out again. Since it’s negative something outside again, they think it’s just fine to “go” on the deck. Another mess to clean up. Gross. Was that too much sharing?

After I’ve dealt with the dogs, I wake Gman for school. He’s impossible to get moving in the mornings. I try really hard not to yell and nag, but every morning I yell and nag! It’s not fun for anyone.

We live within walking distance from his school, however since it’s been icy and arctic, I’ve been driving him. This is not a problem in the mornings, but afternoons are trickier. Lolo has after school activities too. Often times she needs to be picked up at or around the same time I need to pick Gman up from his school. Lolo has to wait. All of this is happening before 4:30 p.m. I often wonder how I would do this if I were working a job-job. It’s why I’m determined to make my business work.

After I get both kids to school, I head back home to work. First, I finally shower and get dressed for the day. Then, I usually start a load of laundry, unload the dishwasher and check my planner to see what needs to get done. Usually this immediately overwhelms me and I decide to drink more coffee and call my Grandpa instead of actually starting the work. I am a top-notch procrastinator. If professional dilly-dallier were a thing, I’d be the best one in all the land!

If there are Extra Grace Box orders to fill, I usually get to work on those first, because I LOVE fulfilling those orders. I can’t explain to you the joy it brings me doing this “work.” When there aren’t orders to fulfill, I brainstorm ways to reach more people so they KNOW the Extra Grace Box exists. Sometimes I read marketing articles, participate in online webinars, research what other subscription boxes are doing, etc.

If I’m not working on fulfilling orders, I’m usually making items for the boxes or researching products to put in the next season’s box.

When it’s not Extra Grace Box work, I’m thinking about Extra Grace Required. Sometimes I’m writing. Often times I spend all day reading, researching and writing and in the end, most don’t result in anything I can share with you. Either it’s just plain bad (oh, I have a lot of megabytes of bad), or it was just for me. Sometimes I go down rabbit holes seeking Biblical answers to my thousands of questions and in the end, I still don’t really have the answers I wanted. Frustrating, but not a waste of time. In all honesty, today’s rambling should probably go in the bad writing, do not publish pile, but I’m just going to go with it today. Extra grace?

Other times I’m working on upcoming speeches, or posting to Instagram or Twitter. I’m reading the comments you’ve left me on articles I’ve posted. I’m praying for each of you, those who have left your names and those who lurk in the background. I am so thankful for each of you! I wonder how you’re doing with your grief, I think about the pain you’re walking around with, and I just wish I could give you each a hug!

I also check in on the Widow’s Army on Facebook. I read what you’ve posted, and sometimes post my own thoughts. What a loving group we have! We have so many wonderful people supporting one another through grief.

Before I know it, I’ve had an entire pot of coffee and need to eat something STAT before I’m sick from all the caffeine. (Hanging my head in shame).

Because I work from home and because no one else will eat it, I usually heat up leftovers of some sort. I turn on the news while I eat to get caught up on what’s happening in the world. It doesn’t take long before I’m angry and frustrated with everything, so I turn the TV off again and get back to work.

I let the dogs out again, where they will once again decide to leave me a mess on the deck.

At this time, I run any errands I HAVE to get done. Because it’s so winter out there, I only leave if I absolutely have to. Sometimes it’s a grocery run, a craft store trip for my Extra Grace Box supplies, or to the post office to mail boxes.

When I get back home, I assess how much time I have left before I need to pick up the kids. Usually, it’s not enough time to really dive into anything new, so I either clean something, fold the laundry I started in the morning, or sometimes just turn the TV back on for a few minutes, trying to soak in the small amount of alone time I have left in the day.

Evenings are usually busy with kid activities. Concerts, piano lessons, Scout meetings, church, etc. When there’s a night when we don’t have to be somewhere, I am SO HAPPY! I’m a complete homebody. I’m not anti-social; I just love nothing more than being home with my family. Comfortable, cozy, relaxed and at home…this is my happy place.

I’ve been working on meal planning lately. Because we do run around a lot every night, it really helps to have a plan. I plan on Fridays, or on Sundays if I didn’t have time to get to it on Friday.

The school week is by far the busiest for me, but weekends are usually hopping too.

Let me give you a peek into our schedule this weekend:

There are so many obligations on the calendar this Friday and Saturday, it just isn’t possible to handle them all myself. I had to ask for help. I don’t like to do this, partly because the help isn’t always there, and partly because I’m a stubborn fool. Thankfully, I found the help I needed! (Thank you neighbor Stacy and friend Amy and Show Choir Invitational volunteer coordinator lady I don’t actually know!)

Tonight I’m supposed to deliver Lolo’s show choir stuff to her when school gets out around 3 p.m. She needs to be at the high school building by 3:30. Except that’s when I need to pick Gman up at a completely different school. No one is walking today because it’s stupid cold outside again. So I’ll have to leave Lolo at her destination early and she’ll have to wait. Then I’ll rush back to the elementary school to pick up Gman. He’ll get home and eat everything in the pantry. We will head out in another hour or so to watch Lolo’s performance. She won’t be able (or willing) to leave afterwards, so Gman and I will head back home and wait for her call probably after 9 p.m. tonight.

Saturday there are more schedule challenges. Gman has a Scout meeting he was in charge of planning. They are learning about the safety and sport of air rifles at a location about a half hour away. We have to be there at 10 a.m., the exact same time Lolo is supposed to catch a bus for a band performance about a half hour away in the opposite direction. I can’t be in both places at once. Thankfully a neighbor has agreed to pick Lolo up and Lolo is old enough and responsible enough to get herself ready and out the door without me there.

Gman’s event ends at the same time I’m supposed to be volunteering at a school music event. I had to ask if I could show up late. Luckily, they accommodated me. Because I’ll be working this event, that means I won’t be able to pick Lolo up when her bus returns to her school, so it’s another friend to the rescue.

The kids will be alone for a few hours while I finish up my volunteer shift. I’ll be nervous the entire time, wondering if they’re killing each other, making smart decisions, staying safe, etc. I’m overprotective, I know, but I also have a good memory and I know the things my brother and sister and I did when we were left alone. Usually we ended up unhurt, but we were naughty. Our parents would have killed us had they known the things we did when they weren’t looking.

At 5:30 pm I’ll finally head home and pray the house is still standing and both kids still living. I’ll be so ready for doing nothing. Frozen pizza is on the menu that night.

Sunday, if it’s still winter, we will stream church online. Snow, ice, -50 wind chills? No thanks. I’m thankful for online church. Then we’ll be all sorts of lazy because it’s the day before the rat race starts all over again.

I live a pretty boring, yet busy life. It’s overwhelming, but amazing. It’s crazy and frustrating, but rewarding. Being a Mom is my favorite thing, even when I want to sell them. It is the best job I’ll ever have and at the end of my life, I will look back and count it as one of my greatest joys. I’m really trying to BE in this season instead of worrying about the next.

The days are long, but the years go fast rings so true for me. I recognize the more I worry about the future, the less I’m in the present. And I really, really want to soak in the now and bottle it up in my memory because I know it won’t last. I’ll blink and they’ll be gone, living their own adult lives. So for now, I’ll run around like an anxious, overwhelmed crazy woman. I’ll juggle all the schedules, the laundry, the meals, the cleaning and the dog poop on the deck, because all too soon the house will be empty and quiet and I’ll really miss this time.

This is a gift grief has given us, you know? We know how short this life is. We know how quickly things can change, and so we must soak it all in! We have to live with greater purpose, marvel the otherwise mundane, and find gratitude in the ordinary moments. This is the gift pain and loss has given to us. Although I complain a lot and am guilty of excessive worry, deep down I understand the joy that’s in this temporary chaos.

If you’ve read this far, I honestly can’t believe it. Thank you! Wishing you a wonderful weekend filled with gratitude for the ordinary and extra grace in all the places you need it.

Jodi