The world watched last week as Cindy McCain mourned the loss of her husband. All eyes were on the widow as she publicly grieved. But it’s now that my heart especially aches for her. It’s after the camera lights are shut off, after the funeral-goers leave and after the ceremonies have ended. If you’ve ever lost, I’m sure watching Cindy McCain took you back to that time in your life. I know it triggered my own memories.
I’m sure Mrs. McCain will receive visits, cards and phone calls this month from friends, neighbors and respectful citizens, but soon those will end too. But her grief will still be there. In fact, it is then that the reality of her loss will really kick in. If you’ve ever had to say goodbye to someone you love, you know this truth. You know the kind of lonely pain that happens once life moves everyone forward while you’re stuck, literally STUCK in sorrow.
It’s when everyone leaves that the real grief work begins. During the funeral, I know I was on autopilot. Yes, I cried, but I wasn’t fully processing my loss yet. It was in the empty silence when the hustle and bustle of friends and family had ended, where I was forced to feel my pain. Although I suppose that quiet, alone time was necessary in order to face my emotions and work through the horrific reality before me, it was then when words and actions of support would have really helped.
I say that not to blame or belittle anyone in my life. This is just an observation that I’m guessing is a fairly universal experience for the grieving. Since going through this myself, I have wanted so desperately to provide comfort, encouragement and hope to those currently sitting in that solitary space. I’ve tried to speak openly about my experience so you and others reading this might feel less alone.
But I’ve still wanted to do more. I’ve wanted to find an additional way to remind you that people still care, even though their lives have resumed while yours feels paused.
So I’ve been working for months and months on something to help people love and support you, not just through the initial blow, but beyond. I’m getting ready to announce a way to show you’re with someone hurting not just during this season of grief, but for all the seasons to come, too. Because if you’ve ever grieved, you know it lasts for longer than a season. And I’m not just talking about loss from death, either. Oh, life has so many ways of inflicting pain on us. Divorce, illness, job loss, empty nests, homesick at college, caregiver weariness, and on and on and on!
How many times do we say, “I wish there was something I could do!” I wanted to offer a solution to that question. Yes, prayer is so important and so appreciated, but people want to do even more, they just don’t know what.
Tomorrow, (Wednesday, September 5), at 8 p.m. Central I will be on my Facebook page LIVE to announce what I’ve come up with to help us all love and support our friends, neighbors, co-workers – even strangers, beyond the initial blow. If you haven’t “liked” my Facebook page yet, please do so you can join me for my big reveal event. I’ve created this with all of you in mind and I’m hoping and praying you’ll love it.
See you tomorrow night on Facebook LIVE!
Extra Grace,
Jodi
How exciting! Looking forward to seeing what your new venture is. Thanks for sharing “yourself” with us.