I don’t normally write on Saturdays, but since Thursday and Friday this week were the first days of Summer break for my kids, I’ve discovered I can’t seem to get ANYTHING done when they’re home. So, here I am, on a rainy Saturday morning, trying to sneak in a quick note to all of you before the kids wake up for the day.
As I’m sitting here typing, the smoke/carbon monoxide alarms are chirping. Don’t ask me which one, I’ve been working on figuring that out for about a week now. I’ve considered taking a baseball bat to all of them. I’ve wondered if it would actually be painful if smoke inhalation took us out as we sleep. I mean, anything must be better than listening to these random chirps all day long! I’m not being serious – I don’t want anyone to die…except the alarms. They can go ahead and die.
I am losing my mind over these stupid things! They’re hard-wired, and it appears they take turns chirping, so just when I think I have it figured out which one is the problem, a different one chirps. I’m wandering around the basement like a very angry Nancy Drew. There’s just one alarm in the basement that actually allows me to change the battery, and changing the battery does not work! I’ve tried at least three different batteries, I’ve checked the polarity. I’ve done ALL THE THINGS!
Yesterday I was determined to fix this problem once and for all. Surely I am smart enough to handle this! I spent over THREE HOURS IN A ROW climbing up on chairs, changing batteries, watching instructional videos on YouTube, texting an electrician friend, turning power off at the electrical box in the garage, climbing back up on the chair in the basement utility room, hitting the test button, and waiting patiently under the main alarm with my ears on guard for the sound.
Finally, at about 10:30 p.m. last night I felt confident I had fixed the problem. The electrical reset seemed successful. I waited over a minute with no chirping!! The green light was on! VICTORY! I got down off the chair and proudly started walking back upstairs with a smirk on my face. Take THAT, life! I did it.
Halfway up the stairwell, “CHIRP!” AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! Extra Grace for the words I said. Lots and lots of words that required extra grace. I’m sorry for the things I said when I wanted to kill all the smoke alarms, Jesus.
I should also mention every time I had to push the “test” button and the alarms simultaneously beeped an ear-piercing warning, while also warning me in a robot voice “Fire! Fire!” the dog went ballistic. Maggie, not Charlie. Poor Maggie barked hysterically for over an hour each time the alarms sounded. So, at 11 p.m. I was massaging her with lavender oil, trying to calm her anxiety (and mine).
Charlie seemed unphased. Of course. He was in his crate, sawing logs like an old fat man.
I swear (literally), sometimes I want to quit widowhood. Where do we give our two-week notice? Sometimes these stupid little problems make me lose my mind. The chirps are mocking me. It’s perfectly mature and not crazy to flip off an inanimate object, right?
I know you have your own stories, too. One friend recently shared her story of the burned out light bulb in the stairwell of her home. It’s in a location that requires a ladder and probably should require a spotter for that ladder, too. Since widows don’t have a real-life spotter, that light bulb remains off, taunting her every time she forgets and flips the switch on the wall. I need to drive over there an help her get that stupid light bulb changed.
There are lawn mower stories, car repair stories, computer problem stories, appliance woes, and on and on. We all have stories of the normally insignificant life things that “before” would’ve been quickly solved. Now, they are a bully. They mock our situation and taunt us. That “chirp” might as well be saying “Hahahaha – you’re all alone and don’t know what you’re doing! You can’t possibly handle this alone, loser.”
Don’t worry, I yelled back at it. I put him in his place. Today I’m going to call the Fire Dept. and beg for mercy. I can’t handle it one day longer. It’s like I’m being water boarded, but with chirps!
AAAGH – I gotta go! I see a rabbit in my garden. Since I’m already feeling like a lunatic, I’m going to run outside in the rain and throw a big chunk of mulch at that little lily-eating jerk.
Don’t mess with a determined, exasperated, ticked off widow! Am I right?!
EXTRA GRACE!!!!!
Jodi
Photo Credit: Abbey Burnstein
Mine was the garage door today. My son had a soccer game 30 minutes away and the power was out. So no automatic garage door opener. 😠 Thankfully, I was chatting with a friend who quickly sent her hubby over to teach me how to release the dumb thing so I could get out of my own house! That’s something I never would have worried about before I became a widow. I feel you on those chirps too! Good luck! 😁
Your story speaks to my heart! I have vaulted ceilings in my living room and the ceiling fan is acting possessed…off, on, off, on…all by itself. And I no longer have the man that climbed ladders with no fear. He was also a maintenance supervisor and could do all manner of fix-it’s. So…what do I do? Call an electrician and pay an arm and a leg to install a new fan? Nope. I watch the fan stop and start and stop and start and cuss it every time.
Jodi,
I wasn’t going to read your email right away, then I just took a peek, and I couldn’t stop til I’d read the whole thing ! At least you have a sense of humor !
My story involves the air conditioning unit for the house. My son called me at work yestetday afternoon, informing me the air temperature in the house was 82° – air conditioner not running. I called the service company that’s been coming out twice per year the last 6 years – Number no longer in service. They must hsve folded up shop. Then I called Service Legends, and they could make it here by next Wed. No way, So I called Bell Bros. – they came here first thing this morning. No parts needed, just a good cleaning of the coil and housing. $ 250 later the temperature’s on its way down. I lost my cool last night with the family when we were out to dinner. I prayed right then for God to calm my spirit and have me not use profanities or shout in anger. I’m a widower, and this stuff usually got to me badly – but since my wife passed away 11 months ago, I’ve actually been drawn closer to Jesus…at least that’s working well for me.
Thanks again for making me laugh, but not at your expense !
-Scott
Oh man..can I relate.. My husband has only been gone for 4 months.. & it was not enough that I had to deal with income taxes & property taxes, right away. I then totaled my car.. Driving home from a son who just had a new baby, named after my husband ( talk about bittersweet : ) a deer ran into my car.. I was stranded 2 hrs. away… Then I got home & a sliding glass door in the basement had fallen out!! Fallen out, on to the ground!! In the winter, in Michigan!! So, I got some tarp, nailed it up, called a son who came over the next day & put up a piece of plywood.
I am learning how to buck up & deal.. There is no one but me, to deal.
I am grateful for 3 adult sons who have lots of knowledge & are willing to help, but in the end all things fall on me… I’ve wondered? Is God allowing all of these things so I don’t have time to be sad? But, I’ve met wonderful folks, from tow truck drivers & cops & a fabulous insurance company… It is what it is… I think my husband would be proud with how I’m dealing.
I hate being a widow!! Hate the word. But, I can look & see how God has been holding me up. He has never failed me yet. I am trusting that all things are for my good & His glory!! (Even car stuff & house stuff : )
I am consciously not going to waste the pain…. I want to reflect Jesus & Grace to all I meet… K.
Jodi — Oh boy did this hit home. My smoke alarms had been chirping for weeks — I’d changed all the batteries and they’d be okay, then start chirping again. One evening, I was alone in the house, and suddenly all the alarms went off. There was no smoke anywhere, it was dark and spitting snow outside but the cat, dog and I were on the back deck because the racket is so loud it makes your head feel like it is going to explode. Luckily my brother was in town and I called him. He worked for an hour trying to figure it out and finally disconnected all of the smoke alarms in the house. I had to call the electrician the next day — turns out the alarms were wired together, but there was some issue with them being wired into the electrical box. Some kind of electrical surge had set them all off! Many $$$$ later, they were all back together, wired properly and no more screeching or chirping. A few months ago — chirping again. This time I called the electrician before they went off. I didn’t understand the explanation — turns out something had happened — and yes, the screeching was just ahead. Because this had supposedly been fixed before, the electrician didn’t charge me — just fixed it right. (I have to hope!) If you have an electrician friend who won’t charge an arm and a leg, you might consider having them checked. Being hard-wired isn’t always what it is supposed to be and if you think the dog freaked out with the test screech — believe me if they all go off, you will say words you never thought you knew and you’ll have to dip the dog in a vat of lavender oil to calm it down! (My late husband was in construction and had a very COLORFUL vocabulary — I had no idea that I could spew some of those words! 🙂 ) Good luck — I hope the fire department can help, but if not and the chirping continues, it might be time to get an electrician.
Is it possible they are going off because there’s carbon monoxide in your house? I’m worried,
Jodi,
We had this exact same thing happen, we tried everything, also needed a 14 foot ladder for one of them in the middle of the night. Thank goodness I FB our electrician that moved to South Carolina and he walked us through testing. We found out that it was a faulty alarm still under warranty. His Bismarck boss sent us out a new one we installed it and no porblem since. It chirped for several weeks. Needed a ladder, couldn’t get batteries you name it. The electrician said some batteries are poorer than others and will also cause them to chirp.I hope you have this resolved. I know how annoying it can be!
Karen
I had the same problem a while ago. I actually ended up taking the batteries out for a while and letting the things dangle. I know this isn’t smart but.,., finally a friends husband came over and told me I should just buy a new unit since these were the original ones. Problem solved!!
ABSOLUTELY. without a DOUBT. TOTALLY 100% RIGHT!
Oh boy do I understand what you are talking about!!!!! Love your post Jodi. Hang in there things will get better right after they get worse!
When my hard wired alarms started going off randomly even after replacing batteries it turned out to be a short in wiring. Good luck with the detective work.