Speechless!

I’m not often speechless. I love words and I have fun using them to describe things. But for the last several days, I am wordless. I’m completely speechless. I’m so overwhelmed with emotions that I’m struggling to find a way to tell you about it! But I’ll try.

I’ve been working so hard for the last year and a half trying to do what I was pretty sure was instruction put on my heart. I didn’t know where it would lead, wasn’t always sure what I was doing, but yet I mostly felt a strange confidence that I was supposed to just keep going. Sometimes I felt crazy for believing in this. Sometimes I felt frustrated and scared following what felt like a darkened path. I couldn’t SEE where it was heading. What if it’s the wrong way? What if there’s danger ahead?

Well, Saturday I saw a bit of light ahead and it brought me incredible joy and great reassurance. I could see just well enough to know that I was on the right road. It also made me thankful beyond measure. Trusting God in the dark and then finally being able to see a small glimpse of what He’s doing is a fall to your knees kind of awesome.

Saturday was my first legit speaking engagement. I had envisioned it from the beginning of Extra Grace Required; despite the many times it felt so foolish to do so. I was nervous. Dry mouth, sweaty pits, cold hands level of nervous excitement. Finally, it was my turn to speak. I was about to tell the story God wrote and is still writing in my life! I prayed God would use me to encourage and comfort the women in the room. I prayed He would do His thang!

And He did! I had done the preparation, the writing, the practicing, but now it was His turn. As a result, I barely remember the moment. But I do remember the peace that washed over me, the joy that filled my heart and the excitement I felt for what might be next.

I looked out from the stage and saw friends new and old, as well as brand-new friends I’d just met that day – what a beautiful thing! We are Sisters in Christ – Warrior Women – Tough Cookies with hearts for God.

You just can’t be surrounded by this and NOT feel more hope-filled, strengthened and supported. What a gift!! I left that day with the makeup of several hundred women on the shoulder of my shirt. Those stains represent hugs of support, encouragement and love. I love those stains! The medium beige, the light ivory, the carameled mocha….a rainbow of skin tones smudged onto my blouse symbolizing our many different stories of heartaches and how we comforted each other with love and kindness. Those smudges remind me of how we are all in this together!

It was such an honor to speak to this special group of women, and an absolute joy to get to talk about God’s goodness…how He is WITH you when you’re in the middle of the worst kinds of stuff. I want to do it again and again and again!! (Feel free to share the link to my SPEAKING PAGE!)

When you catch a glimpse of how God is using the painful stuff this life dished up to reveal the purpose He has for you…. there just aren’t words! There are emotions though – so many emotions!

He’s so good – through the joyful stuff AND through the rotten stuff. He works ALL things for good.

Romans 8:28  (NIV)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 That doesn’t mean I won’t have times where I may question things, throw a fit over His timing. It doesn’t mean I won’t have more tough times ahead (since it’s not Heaven and all). It doesn’t mean I’ll never be afraid or anxious…I’m so talented and well rehearsed in all of this after all, but I know to TRUST HIM!!!

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

How about you? Are you feeling around in the dark right now? Trying to see what’s ahead but there’s just no light? Do you have something pressing on your heart but aren’t sure about it? I just want you to know this: when you trust Him…He will lead you!! Pray about it –pray a lot. And KNOW He’s not going to abandon you. He has a plan and He’s worthy of our trust. His timing is always right. He’s the One whose love will take your breath away and leave you struggling for words to describe the joy. Wow. Just, Wow.

Extra grace,

Jodi