I’ve missed you!! I’ve been so busy preparing for my speech this weekend that I haven’t been able to focus on anything else. That, plus my full time job of keeping Charlie out of the garden. That naughty puppy is my cardio! He LOVES the dirt! Oh, my poor garden!!!
But despite all of those distractions, my heart still pulls me over here.
I’ve been on worry wart overdrive lately. I’ve been thinking (read: obsessing) a lot about the things that give me anxiety (the list is LONG).
The future, this speech, something else I’m working on for Extra Grace Required, my kids, weight loss, my terrible teeth – and on and on and on! And yet, I realize this is pointless. Anxiety is real – it’s not always controllable with a conscious choice, but on the other hand, why am I carrying it? I’m not supposed to! It’s so heavy sometimes, and for what? Does it improve outcomes? (Spoiler: It does not).
What it DOES do is take me away from joy. It takes me away from soaking in the small, beautiful moments each day holds. Worry is a thief.
I take medicine for anxiety, because, as I said, it’s not always just a choice. There are biochemical components to all of it sometimes. But there ARE still times when I do have a choice. And I’ve been making the wrong choices. I’ve been letting the worries of another day devour me. And it’s been stealing TODAY from me.
I’m pulled to I Peter 5:7 again.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
And Phillipians 4:6:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
And the reassurance of Isaiah 41:10!
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
And then there’s Matthew 6:25.
“Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow, or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?…
… Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
And soooo many more verses, too! Think God knew we’d be nervous Nellies? Worry warts? Anxiety-ridden fools?
But then, I still have to do MY part. So, I’ve prepared and practiced for my speech, I’ve built the website, I’ve tried to be responsible with finances. I’m doing my best with food choices, I’m trying to find a dentist and I’m loving my kids and trying to teach them at every turn. I’ve planted my garden and I’m listening to what He puts on my heart. And so now I’m to the part where I need to just breathe, pray, and TRUST.
It isn’t always easy! Especially when you’ve felt the heartache this life can sometimes dish up. But it’s what we need to do. Why else would he remind us so many times? Sometimes I think the Bible could be summarized in just a few sentences. Of course there are so many really important and beautiful messages for us, but if we broke it down to just the bare minimum, I think this is what we’d hear:
I love you!
Trust me!
Love others!
Do you believe in my Son who died for you? Was buried and rose again?
Heaven awaits! Do you believe it?
I mean – obviously, there’s so much more than that, but the big ones – am I remembering the basics on a daily basis? Am I remembering how much he loves me? Am I trusting him? Am I loving others and believing in the promises he’s made?
Most of the time when worry overwhelms me, I’m not. What an EXTRA GRACE REQUIRED dimwit I can be sometimes!
So, I’m going to try again. Do over. I’ll read I Peter 5:7 and all the other verses every day until it sinks into my thick, stubborn head.
He has a plan for me. He has a plan for you, too, you know. It may end up being a different one than we thought would be best, but He’s God – and I’m pretty sure His plan is going to be a better one than ours.
Extra grace for all of us worriers making things more difficult than they need to be.
So – I’m going to try not to worry about my speech Saturday. But I will ask you to pray God uses me to deliver whatever He has in mind. Pray I can get out of the way of that?
Thanks for sticking with me. Thank you for listening to me vent my heart. Thanks for understanding, for praying, for supporting. Thanks for being my tribe.
Extra grace,
Jodi
- PS – I promised you a giveaway – I’ll be posting that early next week. Don’t miss it! You know, if you subscribe you won’t have to worry about missing it. (*wink)
Jodi,
I have been thinking about you and your family, I hope you all had a pleasant Easter! You mentioned that you are making a speech, who will you be addressing? My prayers and God’s strength for whatever you are pursuing! I know you will do well. I will be thinking of you as always, take care! May God bless!
Karen
I hope at some point, those of us far away, may be able to read your speech. You encourage me so much. I will be praying for you.
Next Friday will mark a year since my beloved left this earth and all the pain and suffering he endured for 4 years, entering into the presence of his Savior.
I miss him SO much. I feel there’s an elephant on my chest and tears constantly flowing, when it had gotten a little easier some days. Why!? When I know how happy and whole he is now?
Janette
Terrible teeth … ugh! I had two crowns in March … let me know if you need the name of my dentist. Ha! I’ll be at the Brunch this weekend … can’t wait!
I love your honesty. It is so refreshing. Thank you for being you.
Thank you Jodi. I don’t know what is worse fear or anxiety? Maybe they are the same? Anyway great words…. you have an awesome heart for the Lord and for us, God’s children. Mad blessings on your big event, you will kill it. Be yourself, be charming, be honest, be emotional, and mostly be in the moment and enjoy. You deserve this. Grace and Peace to you sister. Chad.
Once again you have ministered to my grieving heart. It will be 5 months on Friday since my husband was promoted to heaven. His homecoming was joyous for him, but it has made my heart hurt like never before. Today’s message was especially mindful of my current situation as I’ve taken to worrying and even though I know what God’s Word says, I was living in fear. Thank you for showing me His truth once again. “Thy Word I have hid in my heart so I might not sin against you.”
Jodi, thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us,. I’m a worrier by nature and go through some of the same things you do. I have to remind myself to have faith, and to trust. Praying that all goes well Saturday, although I know He will be with you and see you through!
Thank you, Jodi, for the love and support you share each time you post. Thanks for letting me know and understand that we are not alone. You have returned much of the faith in The Good Lord and in myself! You feel like the family I do not have.
You are fantastic!
Praying for God to speak through you. Do not worry because God’s got it!!!!!
Jodi, thank you again for being so real!! Today started off with a couple of really frustrating things and because of them, I was running late so I skipped breakfast, my coffee and worst of all, my quiet time with Jesus. As the day went on, the troubles increased. When I got home I pulled out my devotion book and read: “When you complain or crticize, you are acting as if you think you could run this world better than I do. I have designed you to live by faith not sight. I lovingly shield you from knowing the future or seeing into the spirit world. Acknowledge My sovereignty by giving thanks in all circumstances.” I confessed to Him that I had complained all day and asked His forgiveness. Why do we forget. And when I have a bad day, I miss my Ruf more because he could always say just the right thing to make me feel better.