I need a new game plan. I’m not beating myself up about feeling down lately, but I don’t want to stay there. So how can I allow grief to do its work on me, but not let it rule my life? Especially when life’s moments sneak up on us and still knock the wind out of us?
Last night it was Lolo’s turn for parent-teacher conferences. Because I’m a single mom now, that means little brother was in tow. As we walked up to the middle school, a Dad and his two young sons ran out of the doors, racing each other to their car. They were smiling and laughing as they sprinted to win the family race. Gman turned to me and said, “I really miss Daddy.”
Grief is everywhere. Reminders of what we miss are EVERYWHERE! Sure, we can CHOOSE joy, gratitude, positivity, etc. but it often feels like it’s not really much of a choice. I think it would be more accurate to say we can choose to TRY and keep trying every day for all those positive emotions. Because if we just say choose, and then grief sucker punches us and we feel sad, then we feel failure on top of grief. So I say nuts to that business. Who needs guilt on top of grief? No thanks.
With Thanksgiving next week, which is also the day my birthday falls on this year (sarcastic woohoo), I need a good game plan. Here’s my plan so far:
- Choose to TRY to be joyful, positive, happy, and not afraid, sad or worried.
- Focus on my kids, niece and nephews, in-laws, siblings – busy myself with play, love and laughter.
- Say yes to the glass of wine at dinner. (not advocating excessive drinking but heck yes to a glass or two).
- Say yes to the Thanksgiving carbs. I’m sorry, but potatoes and stuffing make me happy. Fat, but happy.
- Ignore the 10,000 fears I have and continue dreaming about the future of this website, a future career and successful business.
- For every worry or fear or sad moment, I will write down something that makes me thankful.
- My prayer life has been sort of meh lately. What a coinky-dink, right? Will I ever learn?! I want to be better about dedicating alone time to pray. I’m good about reading and studying the Bible but I haven’t been too committed to pouring myself into prayer.
- Turn off the news. I know I can’t do this totally, but I will reduce the time I spend seeking information. It’s toxic out there, folks – moderation is good.
- I know every single time I give something anonymously or serve in secrecy, my heart is full. I wish I had a billion dollars because how fun would it be to bless the socks off of unsuspecting people?! But there are still lots of things I can do on a tiny budget to brighten someone’s day. I’m going to schedule these things in my planner to make sure I don’t forget.
- You know what comes after Thanksgiving, right? The big one – CHRISTMAS! I’ve always loved Christmas – so much so that I demanded a Christmasy wedding. (Oh, yeah – wedding anniversary coming up too – ugh). I’m going to make a conscious, dedicated effort to focus on the birth of Christ. That means slowing down as much as possible. It means taking in the small important moments. It means spending as much time with family and friends as possible. There will be sorrow, it’s unavoidable, but drawing closer to Christ – to the “reason for the season” is the game plan I need to get through it best.
So there you have it. My game plan for the holidays 2.0. I’ll be on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter throughout the holidays. You can subscribe to the site too so you don’t miss a post. Visit me online when you’re feeling alone. Plus, there’s sure to be road trip antics you might not want to miss. I hope you’ll stop by online and feel the comfort of company. I’m standing beside you – rooting for you – rooting for us. We’re not alone. We’ve got this. God’s got this!