I Can’t Seem To Take It Off Yet

January 18, 2017

“I can’t seem to take it off yet.” Words that cut through my heart last night as I watched the latest episode of “This is Us.” (I promise I do more than just watch TV)

Did you watch last night? Did you see as Dr. K struggled with his grief after losing his wife? I did, and I cried. I cried and cried.

I completely understand the wedding ring dilemma. I know I’m not required to ever remove it from my left ring finger if I don’t want, but I think about it. Sometimes I move it over to my right hand. Ten minutes is my record and then it has to go back where it belongs.

Christianity, or perhaps it’s my specific denomination? Gives me the out. “Til death parts us” is how our vows read. Except death has only parted us physically. I still feel I belong to him and he belongs to me. Right now anyway, I still feel married and don’t even want to feel any other way. So the ring stays on. And my heart feels less lonely spinning the gold circle hugging my ring finger. It reminds me of all the love we had and I just can’t remove it.

I’ve heard stories of women feeling a need to remove it immediately. And that’s ok too. Grief = to each his or her own! But for me? For me it’s too much and I can’t. Maybe today I’ll go eleven minutes…maybe not.

And if you are loyal “This Is Us” watchers too? I want you to know that this Website…all of you…YOU are my “lemonade.”

Extra Grace,


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  • Reply Bonnie Skjonsberg January 18, 2017 at 11:59 am

    I lost my husband three years ago and I can’t even imagine taking my ring off. I miss him so and think of him every day. He was my best friend as well as my husband and I do not have anyone to talk to as he and I talked about every thing every day. And, yes, I watched “This is Us” and was very upset his son was pushing him to move on. His wife had passed only a year ago.

    • Reply Extra Grace Required January 18, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      Thank you for sharing, Bonnie. i’m so sorry. i didn’t like that scene either. Everyone needs something different i guess. Thanks for reading, for commenting – and know i’m thinking about you. We’re going to be ok…one day at a time, right?

  • Reply iowajlo January 18, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    All the feels with This Is Us. I thought Dr. K’s “lemon” speech to Jack was more poignant this time around since we now know Jack doesn’t grow into an old man. 😢

    • Reply Extra Grace Required January 19, 2017 at 10:23 am

      Thanks for reading, Iowajlo! You’re going to have to hold me when we see Jack leave.

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