November 11, 2016

My brother and sister are my best friends. They are the people that make me laugh. They’re the people with whom I share the ups and downs of my life. They totally get me. Our shared experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly have created a bond greater than any other in my life. Because we live in three different states, it’s rare that we get to spend time together. But this Thanksgiving we will all be together, and not for a funeral. All of our kids will get cousin time and I can’t wait!

You know the upcoming holidays have been on my mind a lot. I’ve been concerned about how to fill the void this year and so this big road trip seems like a pretty good plan. Maybe it’s because my game plan has been so heavy on my mind, but I had a very vivid dream about Thanksgiving last night. It was awesome.

In my dream, we were all together, having so much fun. We were laughing until we couldn’t breathe, recounting old memories, while making new memories. We all had on matching pajamas and we decided to have the kids exchange gifts. And so, Christhankmus was born. I woke up so excited and texted my brother immediately. I told him about my vision of wearing matching PJs and the cousin gift exchange. I told him we’d take a picture and it would be so much fun! My holiday joy was returning and I couldn’t wait to tell him about my plan! This Thanksgiving wasn’t going to suck after all! Christhankmas was going to replace my holiday dread with joy!

And then he replied with this text:


C’mon, man! I’m seeking joy, here. But really, he’s right. Maybe I went a little overboard with this plan. As children of the 70’s, we do have many matching velour jumpsuit photos together. We look thrilled about it, don’t we? Our eyes are saying “Help us! We have a Mom who sews and she has an unlimited supply of coordinating fabric!”


Maybe he’s scarred from that. Or maybe I was just overcompensating Clark Griswold style to suppress my holiday emotion dread. Either way, I’ll compromise. No matching pajamas for adults. How about matching cocktails? That ok?


Whether Christhankmas involves matching sleepwear or not, we will be together. We will laugh until we cry. We will stay up late talking about the past and we will also live out new, happy times. I’m so thankful for the chance to be together this Thanksgiving. No matter how sad or lonely my heart may feel without my husband, my siblings give me joy to fill some of that space.


It is my sincerest prayer that you have people in your life to fill up your empty spaces this Thanksgiving too. Whether it be friends, church family, kids, neighbors, pets, brothers or sisters, I pray you are surrounded by love and laughter to fill your heart full of just what you need.

Extra grace,




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  • Reply Deb November 11, 2016 at 11:35 am

    Sounds like a WONDERFUL Christhankmus in the making 🙂

  • Reply Jan November 11, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    I like the PJ vision but remembering PJ picture of the past might provide even more joy.

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