I’m all for being honest, authentic and vulnerable. I’m for it not because I want sympathy, as many of you have lovingly expressed in response to many of my posts, but because I have always suspected I am not alone, even when I’ve felt so very much that way. It feels carved onto my heart to let others know they are not alone. So I throw myself out there in hopes that maybe there’s someone that may find comfort, community and encouragement here. I have prayed that God would use my pain and my words for His glory. I envisioned someone – if only one – saying, “Really? Me too!” Because there is comfort in unity and peace in understanding.
Today I don’t feel unity and I don’t feel understood. I feel alone and afraid. I feel like an outsider in the way I’m earnestly trying to love like Jesus. I feel misunderstood among those I’m supposed to be one with, and I’m grieving that.
I’m holding back a lot of thoughts and feelings because there is authentic and then there’s wisdom. Today I’m trying to be wise and allow my emotions time to process privately. So for now, just this:
Galatians 6:9(NIV)
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Thank you for reading, for loving, and for your extra grace.
Jodi
Me too! None of us are alone.
Thank you.
At the time you wrote this my Rufy was still here, but HE knew I needed it today (3-21-18) Thank you, Jodi and don’t wonder anymore. I have said that SOOO much – “Really? Me too” please don’t stop writing to us.
I lost my husband on May 30, 2017. Almost arriving at my one year anniversary. I guess thats the right word. Our wedding anniversary was two days prior to his death. I’m grateful he was still conscious and talking that day. His pain was better managed for that day.
My tears are less but the pain is very real. I have gone back to weekly mass but I miss him in church watching the families and couples holding hands.
I’m 68 and trying to rebuild my life but not sure where to start. I had hoped we’d be traveling this year. As I sit on my back porch swing I just marvel at how quickly life has changed. It’s such a beautiful spring Sunday. He would have loved the day.