Rites of Passage

December 8, 2017

Recently Lolo had a weekend retreat with the 7th grade girls in her confirmation class. She was supposed to be at church by 7:15 a.m. Saturday morning. I let her pack her things and didn’t nag too much about it. Only a few “Did you remember?” slipped out of my mouth. We went to bed and set our alarms for 6:15 a.m. so we’d have time to get ready (read: have my coffee).

Around 6:30 I noticed Lolo wasn’t awake yet, so I knocked on her door. She was still asleep, so I rubbed her back and told her it was time to wake up. She rolled over and my jaw fell wide open!

“What did you do to your eyebrow?!” I asked.

She was still half asleep and didn’t answer me. So I asked again.


Finally she was alert enough to reply. “I just thought I’d touch up my eyebrows for the retreat.”

“With what?!” I said a little too NOT calmly.

“A razor,” she said sheepishly.

“Hurry up and get dressed. We need to fix this before we leave.”

So there we were, both of us, running around like mad women digging through bathroom drawers for an eyebrow pencil at 6:30 a.m. with only adrenaline and panic running through our veins because the coffee wasn’t even brewing yet.

Could I have handled this one better? YES. But when your twelve-year-old looks at you with half an eyebrow and you have to be somewhere in 15 minutes, what would you do?

We found the pencil and filled in the brow and she was good to go. On the way to church I told her she can (and should) always ask me for help if she needs it. I told her I’d be more than happy to help her, teach her…or take her to the nail salon to have her brows touched up if that’s what she preferred.

I get that middle school girls are self conscious and experiment with ways to fit in, be beautiful, etc. but why do their efforts usually make it ten times worse instead of better?!

I should’ve stopped, taken a deep breath and remembered my spiral perm, shoulder pads, blue mascara or stirrup pants phases. But I reacted before I remembered. I blew it.

   Not just WHITE pants, white STIRRUP pants! Also rocking’ the asymmetrical cut and shoulder pads.

spiral perm, BIG hair, shoulder pads!


Frosty eyelids, curled bangs, and my new Benders so my hair could be more spiral and awesome!  


I seriously don’t even know where to begin. All i know is it was NOT Halloween. Why are my nylons pink? Why to all of this! I should’ve just shaved off half of an eyebrow.Thank you , Jesus it’s at least blurry.

It’s so hard being a pre-teen girl. And it’s hard being a Mom to a pre-teen girl (Come, Lord Jesus). And this isn’t even my first go-round! Bless all you calm spirited Moms out there. I do want to be more like you. Reassuring, calm, patient and kind instead of controlling, nagging and quick to freak out. I’m trying.

I did apologize to her when I explained I’m here to help her with these things. I certainly didn’t mean to “brow” beat her. (See what I did there?)

For everyone out there parenting adolescent girls, God bless!! Learn from my mistakes. And hide the razors.

Extra grace,


* if some day you read this, Lolo – I love you!

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